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Helping Men Face The Challenges of Mid Life with Confidence and Fulfilment. 

I was born into a 1950’s loving family and fortunately had an idyllic childhood living on the West Cornish coast.

At the age of 18 years old I secured a job with a high street bank as a grade 1 clerk. I made some good friends there. As time went by however the bank moved me away from home to north Cornwall and so I was only able to get home on weekends.

Becoming more senior within the bank I began to feel under pressure and despite getting married to one of the girls in the bank I felt the bank was stifling my individuality and trying to clone me into a grey ‘bank man type’ of which I despise. As jobs were difficult to come by, I stuck it out and after several moves around Devon and Cornwall in various branches I settled into a routine. All the time feeling trapped in a roll that I had no interest or ambition in.

In the mid-eighties however, I left the bank and decided I could make something of myself doing something that I had an interest in namely health food and exercise. With a wife and now three children I was determined to make a success of myself. At the businesses peak I was running three shops and the first non-smoking café in the southwest of England. Life was good, at least for a few years but, the in late eighties  costs were escalating and interest rates were climbing and the business crashed in 1990. Not just the shops, my marriage failed as well and I found myself living in a room in a small cottage, sharing with a crazy Irishman, a very low point of my life having lost my family, house, business, self esteem and confidence. Eventually forced by my perilous financial situation I retuned home to mum and dad, who by this time were not enjoying good health.

I lurched from short term work to periods of unemployment and to cap it all in early 1992 my dad died suddenly. Now left with a sick mother to care for I was well and truly in a dark place. Although I loved my mum, I found the situation strained our relationship. Then came a breakthrough, I got a sales job with a local timber firm and began making a success in my role. I was soon climbing the ladder and attained the role of sales manager. I made new friends and my social life began to grow.

The success I was enjoying gave me financial stability and I could afford the trappings of my new wealth, this manifested itself in late nights drinking and smoking far too much. Consequently, I began to make drinking an unhealthy habit which I realised I was beginning to rely on. Coupled this with an unhealthy diet It was at this point I was diagnosed with pre type 2 diabetes, a real shock. At almost 17 stones (240 pounds) at 5 feet nine inches I was far too heavy and had trouble walking home up the hill.  My days of ‘heath food and exercise’ were a long way behind me.

By some miracle I met a lady who was to become my second wife. She wasn’t much of a drinker and although smoking still persisted I began to turn my diet around and eventually after several years of a healthier lifestyle the meds I was on for my type 2 diabetes were stopped. There was a sting in the tail however of this good news. Family relationships became strained.

Things with a new firm seemed to be going well until the day I got a call from the CEO, he called me down to the board room. He told me the company was bust and we were all going to lose our jobs.

 

The amount of money the company had lost was staggering, over £20 million and there was to be subsequent police fraud office investigations.

 

Luckily I wasn’t involved in any fraud as I was completely unaware of anything being wrong. Giving evidence in the Crown court in London against my former employers and colleagues was particularly difficult.

Being 55 years old now I was really thinking I’d never work again and I’d become anxious about the bank statement and the brown envelopes coming through the door, a nasty replay of my time back in the late eighties and early nineties when my own business failed. 

 

As fate had it mum also died at home in the midst of all this. I was again in a very low dark place.

Paul Trevail Photograph

I had met a life coach some years before and by chance she was a mutual friend of another friend of mine and she was looking for someone to ‘practice’ on so I volunteered. What had I got to lose? I found the talks we had very helpful and I began to work on myself. Climbing out of the dark place I was in I gradually got back on my feet.

One final ‘down’ befell me more recently, my second marriage broke down and again I felt bereft and alone. My confidence was at an all time low and the direction of my life was uncertain once again. I then revisited life coaching and discovered a new zest for life. Using my life experiences I resolved to help men in their mid life get through life’s difficulties with my life coaching.

By changing my mind set and adopting a different perspective on life put my life on track and I can honestly say I’ve never felt so confident, fulfilled and happy in my life. I walk straight and tall again with my head held high. As my lovely new lady says ‘ONE LIFE, LIVE IT! This is not a dress rehearsal.’

If any of my story resonates with you then why not arrange a free discovery call to see if I can help you get back on your chosen path to a fulfilled, confident and happier future.

Paul Trevail

Take the first step to a happier future.
Book your discovery call appointment here. 

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